Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
