I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
