The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
