Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize