maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
