I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
