rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
