nut hugger
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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