god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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