at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
