Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
