If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
