Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
