Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
