Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
