Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My vagina just clenched in fear
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
