It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
