Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
