Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just google imaged poop.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
