I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize