my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
