So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
