these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
