I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
