Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
