I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
