id be glad to
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
cat food counts as protein by the way
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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