Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
