I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
