if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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