YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
