my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
