Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
