What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
