I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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