She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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