Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
