I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
