they need to just BURY HIM!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize