Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
