Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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