id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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