Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
