Don't you send me to vm
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
