yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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