I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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