I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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