My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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