it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
