Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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